Hillview Heritage Estate

“Possibly not like what you were expecting.”

This is definitely a TLDR so don't read, but in a nutshell, go to Hillview if you want the outside to be quieter than paradise but the inside not to be a 5 star Grand Hyatt / Four Seasons. When I was figuring out where to stay for a few days to break the Mel/Syd drive, I looked at all the usual su… lisää

This is definitely a TLDR so don't read, but in a nutshell, go to Hillview if you want the outside to be quieter than paradise but the inside not to be a 5 star Grand Hyatt / Four Seasons. When I was figuring out where to stay for a few days to break the Mel/Syd drive, I looked at all the usual suspects and ... found one I'd never heard of before, Hillview. So I looked at the reviews. Wow, are they ever polarised. Those that loved it really loved it, and those that didn't were so scathing and the language was so (negatively) powerful that I thought "I have to see this place". So I booked for two nights. Ended up staying for four. You can now see where this review is going ... two nights wasn't enough. I'll get down to it. Hillview is original. Remember that word if you decide to go there. If you're expecting something quaint and Downton Abbey-ish *but* that has been completely gutted and 5-star made-over on the inside, with just the outside facade being the only thing left to look nice and charming, don't go there. Really ... don't go. On the other hand, if you want to live for a day or four just like the upstairs family in Downton Abbey did (but without the hot and cold running servants), but with a few of the must-haves of modern living thrown in ... a microwave, outstanding but very simple heaters (it got down to minus 1 degree when I was there), beautifully comfortable beds with electric blankets, crisp linen all round, Netflix/Prime/Stan/whatever on a nice new widescreen Hisense, and .... you promise not to freak out at the sight of a shower curtain or an original claw foot bath that catches (most of) your shower water or the lack of a kitchen as you might have come to know kitchens, or a few things I'm probably forgetting to mention, then .... go there. Really .... go. BTW when I said NF, Prime etc, I used all my own accounts and my own 'net access that travels with me (I don't even know if Hillview has WiFi, didn't ask). If you aren't totally comfortable doing a bit of techie workaround to get all your stuff running on their nice TV and you're clinically addicted to some streamed thing you can't go a few days without, I go back to ..... don't go there. I’m attaching photos of my room and one or two from outside. That is exactly how it looks. That long narrow corridor-looking room? That’s the kitchen. The kitchen sink is the basin in the bathroom. Maybe it’s just me, but I like that. During your time there, you will change the way you do a lot of things. You’ll learn some stuff. You’ll get frustrated at times. Your heart rate will slow. Your cortisone levels will drop. You’ll achieve nirvana and become a better person. But you will be in THE quietest (I know, it feels wrong to shout about quietest) most peaceful, most charming, best-situated place you’ve ever been. A gadzillion rabbits can’t be wrong. Really, it has at least that many ... they are the cutest things and kudos to them for choosing *the* safest place on the planet to bring up their families and spend their days reproducing and eating and dodging incoming visitors’ cars. I’ve tried to give you the best and the worst here. One more time ... if you don’t think you can handle the worst, please don’t go there. It will save you from a disappointing time and will save the proprietor/custodian from an undeserved scathing. I’m not sure exactly who owns it now but if you want to complain, I’d start with Chris Minns. In its current condition, Hillview is a 5+ star hotel of a hundred years ago. That's what I loved about it.

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